𝗩𝗼𝗶𝗿 𝗗𝗶𝗿𝗲 𝗶𝗻 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗠𝘂𝗹𝘁𝗶𝘃𝗲𝗿𝘀𝗲

by Thomas R. Willemain

Brane 1

“Number 14.”

“Mr. Baker, what is your occupation?”

I work for the government.

“Can you be more specific?”

Department of Defense.

“What do you do for the Department of Defense?”

I kill things.

“You kill things?”

Affirmative.

“What kind of things?”

I can’t say.

“Mr. Baker, you are required to answer the question.”

Computers… and maybe people.

“You also kill people?”

Maybe.

“You don’t know whether you kill people?”

If somebody dies, someone else does the final bit.

“Then how do you kill people?”

I put them on the X.

“The defense excuses Number 14.”

“Mr. Baker, you are excused.”

Brane 2

“Number 14.”

“Mr. Baker, what is your occupation?”

I’m a statistician.

“Where do you work?”

At Halstead Tech.

“Mr. Baker, what do you do as a statistician? Does that involve computers?”

Statistics is about gathering or creating data and drawing reasoned conclusions taking proper account of uncertainty. Usually, yes, computers are involved. But the essence of statistics is the search for truth.

“Number 14 is acceptable to the defense.”

“The prosecution excuses Number 14.”

“Mr. Baker, you are excused.”

Brane 3

“Number 14.”

“Mr. Baker, you list your occupation as ‘software developer’?”

Correct. We’re currently migrating from prototyping in an R environment to production using Python on the Microsoft Azure cloud. We have some legacy C++ code that—

“Mr. Baker, do you believe you can be objective in this case?”

Probably, if this doesn’t take me away from my team for too long.

“The defense excuses Number 14.”

“Your Honor, the defense has already exhausted its allotted peremptory challenges.”

“Indeed. Mr. Prosecutor, do you have questions for Number 14?”

“No, Your Honor. Number 14 is acceptable to the prosecution.”

Brane 4

“Number 14.”

“Mr. Baker, where are you employed?”

I am self-employed.

“OK, then what do you do?”

I am a poet.

“So I take it that serving in this trial would not be a hardship?”

Oh, no. The per diem would be most welcome. And I’ve read some great poetry written by a sequestered poet named McClung.

“Thank you. Your Honor, the defense has no objection to Number 14.”

“Mr. Prosecutor?”

“Thank you, Your Honor. Mr. Baker, look at the defendant. Do you believe you can be objective in judging her guilt or innocence?”

I would have to look deep into her soul first. I would also need to hear her speak her lived experience.

“Mr. Baker, do you believe yourself capable of rendering a verdict of guilty, provided sufficient evidence is adduced?”

I believe we are all guilty souls yet that all are worthy of redemption. I also believe that this process in which we are engaged can harden the human heart so much that not even art, in its many forms, can soften it.

“Your Honor, the prosecution asks that Number 14 be excused.”

“Mr. Baker, you are excused.” ✦

Dr. Thomas Reed Willemain is an emeritus professor of statistics, software entrepreneur, and former intelligence officer. He holds engineering degrees from Princeton University and Massachusetts Institute of Technology. His flash fiction has (or will have appeared) in Burningword Literary Journal, Here Comes Everybody, Hobart, Detritus Online, The Medley, Drunk Monkeys, Tamarind and The Mathematical Intelligencer. His memoir, Working on the Dark Side of the Moon: Life Inside the National Security Agency was published in 2017. A native of Western Massachusetts, he lives near the Mohawk River in upstate New York. Web site: www.TomWillemain.com. [Yes, we are Mr. Baker.]